What does it look like to open your heart?

Today I stumbled upon the song « Hello My Old Heart » by the rock duo The Oh Hello’s.

Ahhh, this is one of those songs that touches you deeply as soon as you hear the first few notes. One of those songs that brings tears to your eyes without any warning.

It touched me so much that I went to find the lyrics on Youtube. You know, on this kind of expressive song on Youtube, it’s very common to find dozens of comments from people who share the same emotions as you at this moment.

So I went on Youtube to find the lyrics, read the comments. And I saw one, then two, then three, then four that related so well what I’m experiencing right now. I’m putting a few of them here for context:

« This is a song that I resonate with on a very deep level; many are saying it’s sad yet happy. That’s because it is… it’s about closing yourself off from others after being hurt, but in the end realizing that staying safe is no way to live. In the end you need to take risks and set yourself free. To numb the worst pain is also to numb the greatest joys. It’s about accepting pain as a part of life, and refusing to put your heart in an armored cage. »

Ee Synopsis

« The best moment I guess, is the time where you finally stop running away and realize that being hurt is still way better than not feeling anything at all. I’m back again, my poor little, old heart. »

Christine Mae

« There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket – safe, dark, motionless, airless – it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell » C. S. Lewis in The four loves.
I love how Lewis inspires their songs. This one is my favorite (:

Debora Borges

This is it. Today, I have relatives, friends that I love very much. People I love and who love me back. I have never felt as loved and surrounded as I do now.

And yet, I have never felt as alone as I do now.

Isn’t that a paradox? I feel like I have all the things my heart desires, and yet my heart is not happy. It is even sad, very sad.

I have long since given up hope of ever feeling that joy of living again, that effervescence that I once had. I think I have made up my mind that my time on earth will end this way.

Featured image by burak kostak on Pexels.

Death ends a life, not a relationship ❤️

I saw this quote as a comment from a video on Youtube.

And it speaks to me so much now :).

Death ends a life, not a relationship. All the love you created is still there. All the memories are still there. You live on- in the hearts of everyone you have touched and nurtured while you were here.

Morrie Schwartz

Notifications are the enemy of productivity

For some time now, all of my WhatsApp notifications have been disabled. Same on Messenger and Twitter.

Since then, everything is clearly better. I’m not constantly distracted by the urge to check my messages, or to see the latest replies to my stupid tweets.

This monday, I reactivated WhatsApp’s notifications, and I was confirmed in my observation: notifications are the enemy of productivity. Really.

So I turned them all off again.

We’re angry with each other.

I am currently angry with my best friend. I screwed up, I think she screwed up too.

I don’t feel like apologizing (I probably will very soon). But for now we’re sulking each other.

In this moment I trust you

In this moment when I trust you, I wish that you’re not going to hurt me.

I can’t remember where I heard that sentence. But right after hearing it, I told myself that I was very concerned.

I can’t say why.

I just wanna say thank you

Aujourd’hui, une personne très chère à mon cœur fête son anniversaire. J’ai réfléchi pendant longtemps à la meilleure manière de lui dire joyeux anniversaire.

Et j’ai du mal à trouver les mots pour lui exprimer toute la gratitude que j’éprouve envers elle. Et tout le bonheur que je lui souhaite.

Il y a vraiment très peu de personnes qui ont autant impacté qui je suis en tant que personne; et celle là, en est clairement une.

Je veux juste te dire merci. Merci d’être toi, d’exister, d’être là, d’être la merveilleuse personne que tu es.

T’es ma personne préférée, je t’aime énormément, et je remercie le ciel de te connaître.

Joyeux anniversaire à toi A.

Sleepy but fine

There are days when I sleep very well at night, but I’m still sleepy in the morning. On those days I am sleepy, but I am fine.

And that’s a little bit the case today.

What’s the point?

For some time now, there’s been a question that’s been bothering my mind. What’s the point? What’s the purpose of life?

Why are we working so hard, trying to make our dreams come true, trying to do what we love? In the end the result will always be the same. We will all end up dying one way or another.

Whether we have lived a simple, miserable, rich life, we will all die. So I can’t understand it. Is the end more interesting when during our life we have been a successful person?

Some will say that we die happy when we feel we have accomplished great things. Okay, but what about afterwards? It doesn’t change the outcome.

Or others will say that leaving a legacy, a memory of one’s time in the world is good. But then what? The people who will remember it will also end up going through it, so it’s ultimately ephemeral.

So, tell me, what’s the point of all this?

C’est quoi le but ?

Depuis quelques temps, il y a une question qui me turlupine l’esprit. C’est quoi le but ? C’est quoi le but de la vie ?

Pourquoi est ce que nous travaillons si dur, essayons de réaliser nos rêves, de faire ce que nous aimons ? En fin de compte le résultat sera toujours le même. On finira tous par mourir d’une manière ou d’une autre.

Qu’on ait vécu une vie simple, misérable, riche, on y passera tous. Je n’arrive donc pas à comprendre. La fin est-elle plus intéressante quand durant notre vie on a été une personne à succès ?

D’aucuns diront qu’on meurt heureux quand on a le sentiment d’avoir accompli de grandes choses. Ok, mais après ? Ça ne change pas le résultat.

Ou d’autres diront que laisser un héritage, un souvenir de son passage dans le monde est bien. Mais après ? Les personnes qui s’en souviendront finiront aussi par y passer, donc ça reste en fin de compte éphémère.

Alors, dîtes moi, c’est quoi le but de tout ça ?

Pain never completely disappears

Pain never completely disappears. You just learn to accept it and live with it.

All you see and hear at first is pain. It overshadows everything else.

Then it gradually gives way to the outside world. But it doesn’t go away.

Pain never completely disappears. You just learn to accept it and live with it.